"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing." ~Socrates

I hate shopping for clothes. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I can't think of anything else in the world that I despise more than shopping. Sometimes I get so angry and frustrated that I just start crying.
Strange behavior for a girl, but it's always been this way.
Perhaps it stems from when I used to be fat...excuse me, obese...screw it, I was just large.
I don't know...I don't like the way anything fits on me. Everything fashionable was made for women who have short legs, perky little B cup breasts, and small hips.
I have long legs, too disgustingly large DD's, and breeding hips. Nothing looks good on me and it pisses me off.
Tonight, my sister and I had to go shopping for me to find a dress to wear, as Matron of Honor for Lisa's wedding...her only request being "something blue"...most of my wardrobe consists of hunter green and brown. Colors scare me...I mean really scare me.
So I try on 15 different blouses and 5 different skirts. As I'm trying everything on, my sister comments "Krishna, you are so skinny from the side." This is a compliment, as I used to be pretty thick from all angles, but to which I get flustered and reply, "Of course I'm skinny at a side angle as my damn hips aren't visable from the side." At which point, I face the mirror and a look of disgust crosses my face as I am now focused on my stupid hips.
It was bad enough dealing with my cleavage pouring out of all of these tops, now I have to dwell on my stupid, broad breeding hips.
Why do I have to have either of these damn large parts? I have no intention of ever giving birth, so they are both wasted on me. Wasted and unappreciated.
After mixing and matching over and over, we decide on an outfit. I get home to put it all on again to photograph and send to Lisa and, of course, we all know the camera adds 10 pounds and it's a white skirt - in other words, my hips are all over the picture, and I second guess my choice.
I could just scream as I envision Lis not being happy with the selection and I will have to go back and do it again!!!
Do you want to know the sad part? I think I was happier with my body when I was fat. I didn't care so much what people thought about me physically. Now, all I see is my reflection is other peoples eyes. FUCK!!!
To make matters worse, my sister ran into a kid I went to school with back in Wyoming the other day. He, of course, asked about me and somehow the conversation moved to how I've lost a lot of weight. He commented that he'd always thought I was beautiful, even though I was big. FUCK AGAIN! This is, I'm sure, a compliment as well...but all I'm hearing are those ridiculous comments people make to fat people, "Why, honey, you're not fat. You're just big boned." This is total bullshit as I have tiny bones. Tiny fingers, tiny toes, tiny wrists, tiny ankles...do people think that because you're fat that you are stupid? As if the fat effects the neurons of your brain? FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
I so fucking hate shopping.